Rejection. . Failure. . and other not so nice words
Failure is NEVER fun. . . duh right?? Well, I once again experience rejection and failure. Why do I bother trying anymore???They announced the top 10 finalists for the scrapbook stand DT. I’m definitely NOT one of them. I actually fooled myself into thinking I had a good chance at this. I didn't even tell anyone about entering. One of my goals is to be on a design team for a monthly kit. Looks like that goal is going in the trash. . .along with my publishing goals.
Maybe I just don’t have what it takes…. Maybe I’m just not strong enough, consistently good enough to make it. Hell, I’ll be honest. . I don’t really want to even “make” it. I just want to have fun. . and for me. . fun is making pages, and in turn making design teams and getting published. No one really understands that part of me. John tells me that I should remember that I’m doing this for fun. .but the fun part goes hand in hand with the design team stuff and the publishing. .. i wish people would GET that. . . .
I give up. .i really do.
posted by {Amanda} @ 6:48 AM
3 Comments:
Amanda, I know exactly how you feel. I was beyond sad not to see my name on that list today. I honestly thought it would be there. We can whimper and lick our wounded egos together. What a crappy way to start the day.
Amanda, I can tell you that you are not a failure! I've seen your work and it is inspiring. The failure is in the part of the DT for not picking you. As Sandra Boynton used to say and draw, don't let the turkeys get you down!
Hugs, do NOT give up, you won't ever get that goal achieved if you do.
I've battled the same thing for YEARS, wanting published, no one understanding that. I love the challenges of being on a DT, given assignments and then doing them. I've had lots of people tell me they love my work, yet, I got very little from the pub game. I did finally give up, only because I re evaluated my reasons for trying. I was looking for accceptance, for fame, and it just ain't going to happen. And then I was letting that rejection define me. It was terrible, I was so unhappy, so bitter about scrapping. I would have bitter feelings to the ones making it, that just isn't right.
Sometimes I'll still submit something, and I have to tell myself they can only fit so many talented people in, that doens't mean YOU'RE not talented, it just means they ran out of room. Which happens alot to me! LOL I've just been hanging out, doing what I love in my scrapbooks, and something good finally came to me, all I had to do was be patient, keep creating art, keep pushing myself. So stay true to yourself, you just never know what might happen for you! One of my all time scrappin dreams came true, AFTER I decided to just scrap for me and please myself. It was then that my true style and heart came out.
But I understand the hurt feelings. Hugs.
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