**An Outrage**
So i just called home to wish my mom good luck today (just some pre-op testing) and my dad (who has fridays off but ends up working every other friday) is like "oh. . i'm not working on friday night i changed my mind" and i'm like "oh okay" and he goes "because i'm going to the RED SOX GAME WITH ROOFTOP SEATS". . . so i get all excited thinking he's going to invite me. .. . NO. . he invited my UNCLE. . (his brother). . . .now. . you must understand. . .i am a die hard baseball fan. . and all i wanted to do this season was go to a Sox game. . tickets are impossible (and expensive) to get. my dad wins them. . and he takes HIS BROTHER . . . . . (who. .in the past has gotten tickets and taken his son in laws, my aunt. . etc. .which is how it SHOULD BE lol). . . . i'm seriously VERY upset about this. . . stupid. .maybe. . but i then remember that the last time he got tickets (he won't go unless he can get the "good" seats) he took John. . who at the time was my boyfriend. .not my husband. . . . sigh. . a girl can't get a break around here :(oh and in other news .. i'm down .8 . . . . 8 freaking tenths of a pound. . . sigh. . i suppose it's better than a gain. .but disappointing nonetheless. . . guess i'll be watching the game on tv. . :(what a way to start the day. . . lol
weighing in (early)
i have such a crazy week this week that I had to weigh in early tonight. . .down 4.4 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY :) total of 11.8 pounds. . i'm SO doing the happy dance right now :):)join me?
I'm SUCH a loosah!!!
yep. . .i lost. . again :) :) down 1.4 pounds for a whopping 2 week total of -7.4 lbs :)YAY :)
OVERwhelmed
yup. .that about sums it up for me. . . . overwhelmed, overextended, overtired. i'm not the funnest person to be around right now LOLhow did it get to be June 15th already?? seems like time's just zooooming by me. . . linda said it the best when she said she feels like the person on the end of a "vigorous game of crack the whip". . i know how she feels. . of course. . for different reasons LOLso. .where to start. . . mom needs more surgery. . i guess that's as good of a place to start as any. it's not good news. .. the hole connecting the pouch to her anus isn't big enough and isn't working right. . so. . they need to fix it or stretch it or something. . but apparently it WAS made big enough and has shrunk. . .ugh. .who knows. . . not i. . what i DO know is that she's 88 pounds right now and i feel like she's going to just die any second. . yeah i know i shouldn't think that way. . and maybe i'm being a baby. .but how can i help it??? i'm SO scared. . . scared for HER, for me, my dad etc etc. i'm trying to be strong for her and keep her positive. .but it's so HARDwhich brings me to another point. . i'm a horrible daughter. . :( no. . i really am. i feel spread SO thin right now and i'm starting to resent what i have to do. john and i go there 3-4 nights a week to cook dinner since she can't do it herself right now. . . that means. . i leave the house at 645 am, work all day, drive straight there. . and don't get home until 730 or 8 every night . .. . needless to say i get NOTHING done. i come home, sit on the couch, then go to sleep :( . .i haven't scrapped in i don't know how long. . and i'm just getting NOT NICE. . and i hate that. ..i shouldn't feel like this. .she's my MOTHER. . and if it were me. . she'd be helping me left, right, and center. . and NOT complaining. . .yeah. .not enough "me" time. . selfish. . . :( so that's why i'm a horrible daughter. . .AND . . i found out yesterday that i didn't get the job i'd interviewed for :( :( :( :( big BUMMER :( :( in the back of my mind i kind of knew that if one particular person applied for it he would get it. .he's kind of a favorite of the management here (isn't that awful to have to say). . needless to say. .he applied for it and got it. .. i'm MAJORLY bummed about it. . the money would have been nice. .as would the chance to DO something different. . .don't get me wrong i like writing letters and i shouldn't complain. .but dammit i am complaining ROFL :)wow. .i've done a lot of whining lol. . . let's see. . what ISN'T whining. . .well i have to weigh in tonight at weight watchers. . . i'll be whining later if i haven't lost ..lol. . .i think i'll be okay though. . i've stayed on plan all week and am feeling really good. . now i just wish it would SHOW, know what i'm sayin'?? :)I preordered the july kit from Wendi Speciale Designs man does it ROCK!!!!! :) i mean. .i HAD to order it. .there's a GIANT A. . .and um.. .hello. . i AM amanda after all :) (wow that's a lot of a's :) )anyway. . .i'm not a happy amanda lately. . and was just hoping that maybe writing about it would make me a MORE happy amanda. . . .as the magic 8 ball would say (note to self: go BUY magic 8 ball) outlook hazy!hopefully i'll be able to post another loss tonight. . which WILL make me a happy amanda. .
{weighing in}
okay. . got on the scale last night for my first weigh in. .. .and i'm down 6 pounds!!!! holy crap LOL what motivation huh?? LOLthis morning i came into work and there are muffins. . gorgeous, delicious bakery muffins. . .i will be strong. . although it might be worth the 5 freakin' points to have a half :) then again. .maybe not!
{randoms}
yep. . that's pretty much what this post will be about. . random stuff :) so let's get started. .shall we??**this saturday is laura's batchelorette party. . YAY. . can't wait to have fun with the girls****first weigh in at WW is tonight. . eek. . a little bit nervous. . . i was pretty good this week. . stayed OP so i'm hoping that it shows at the scale. . . john keeps telling me not to get discouraged. . . boys. . . what do they know??****speaking of boys i'm so proud of John. . he did a brake job on his car over the weekend. .pretty impressive. . since he's never done it before. . . :) YAY john!! this also means a $$ savings because he can do both cars brakes now :) he claims when we have a house he wants a lift in the garage. . and some sort of air compressor lug nut taker offer thingie. . but i asked him if we had a pit crew i wasn't previously aware of .. hehe****interviewed for a new position in my dept. this week. . .another eek. . . they're saying the decision will be made by the end of the week. . today's wednesday. i'll definately be bummed if i don't get it. . . fingers crossed!!****there's a new strongbad email . . it's bored(really). . .not as great as usual. .but hey. . it's new. . so i'll take it :)****speaking of email. . got an upsetting one from a friend of mine. . don't you hate it when you apparently do something that you weren't aware you did. . . .and hurt someone's feelings. . . i know i do :( ****saw napoleon dynamite finally. . . (i've only had ben's copy for like a million years. . lol). . i thought it was really hilarious. . but really about nothing :) which i guess is why it's so popular :) it just further cemented the fact that I WANT A LLAMA :) named Tina :) :) lol**** Vacation is officially 1 month 5 days away. .. .please come faster!!!****watched the real world austin special last night. . .there's a kid from billerica on there. .weird to hear someone say "hi i'm danny and i'm from billerica, MA". . just a note for those who haven't spoken to me in real life. . . we don't all sound like unitelligent morons. . . geez. . it's like every reality show that casts someone from this area finds the ONE with the horrendous accent. . um. . boston rob (who i love but notwithstanding sounds. . awful LOL). . ****my first wedding anniversary is 1 month 2 days away .. i cannot believe it. . .look for another blog entry later about this one :) ROFL**so i guess that's all my randoms for now :) if you're reading. .feel free to check in :)
{a new beginning}
so i started weight watchers (WW) tonight. . . with kristen. .she's losing baby weight . .and i'm. . well i'm just losing weight LOL. i've gotten to a point where i'm no longer comfortable in my own skin. . (and clothes but that's another story :) ). i've always been heavy. . but i've been okay with it. . i've never had (much) of a confidence problem, i was "okay" with who i was. but i'm not anymore. . . truth be told i'm miserable about it. so. . i decided to DO something about it instead of just bitching about it. . . .so there ya go :) wish me luck. . oh and if you know of any low point yummy foods and/or recipes. . please share them here :)on the scrapbooking front i've done CRAP lately. . . . it's so bad. . i'm so unmotivated it's ridiculous. I NEED MOJO :) got any to spare?? send it to me. . . via email if possible :)other than that it's status quo here in fraggle-land - which isn't always a bad thing :)**bright spots***got to leave work at 3pm today**yummy crystal light lemonade - a sure sign of summer**june 1 - it has to warm up soon right?**2 new scrap magazines in the mail today**a fun package from my buddy linda (thanks linda :) )**winning 250.00 at mohegan sun on sunday :)*hope your week is going well :) check in and let me know :)
